Timing is weird. Coincidences are weird. The universe and the Law of Attraction is weird. If you've read any of my recent posts you'll know I'm sort of in a limbo-phase right now - looking for that niche for my art and balance for my life / creativity / work / pay the bills situation I think every artist struggles with. I've been trying my best to just let it go - to let it come to me.
Then, something like THIS happens. TrendHunter picked up The Drawing Hope Project, and in less than 2 hours it surpassed 5000 views, 100+ shares, and jumped to the #1 most popular post on their site. Um, wow - and weird - and awesome. Trouble being - I've been struggling with completing "round 1" of the project for over a year - the ultimate culmination of the project, and the completion of the actual hard-copy storybook. SO much harder than I anticipated, and I admittedly took a good "year off" to recollect myself after all the photos were complete, and my Dad passed away (I'm a slow healer apparently). Add to that fear of failure - and success - and you have a whole lot of terrified procrastination that has created a serious delay that haunts me daily. Enter my Mom (thank god!) who has offered to help me wrap it up, and help string all the photos together into the perfect storybook as each little hero in the project deserves.
Now - here's why I think all of this is weird.
I have never ever been more fulfilled in my life than when I was working on The Drawing Hope Project. Meeting these kids and their families - supporting their causes and helping them see their imaginations come to life = priceless. Seriously, there aren't words for how that makes you feel. And yet, here I am, looking for something creative that will fulfill me? Am I an idiot?
Honestly - ya, I think I am. I've spent so long caught up in the opposite intention of the project - beating myself up and in turn, NOT seeing imagination (my own, and others) come to life. Huh. Meanwhile, if I just rewound back to the original reason I started the project in the first place - to create magic - and did it for that sake alone (forget future story books, as I'm apparently not a great storybook writer-and-put-together-er)...but just continued on creating the magic for these kids and their families...I think I'd rediscover that sense of creative and soulful fulfillment I've been looking for.
I stopped looking.
The moment I stopped looking for that creative outlet that would bring me fulfillment is when the answer came to me (this morning, actually). I stopped hunting and trying to find it. I just let it go, and ignored it. And ta-da! Well wouldn't ya know, I had it all along, but I'd tucked it away. I think it's time to bring it back and do it simply for the sake of doing it. An ongoing series of magical photos that will make little heroes and their families smile. It doesn't need to become something great or wildly popular - because what's more great than being able to give that gift to someone who needs it? Art for the sake of love. The world could use more of that.